The Gift of Pain

I hate pain.  I don't know anyone who likes it.  

We tolerate pain, ignore pain but never invite pain.

Last week I had lower back pain that made me weep.  The two practitioners recommended were unavailable so I self soothed with yoga poses, stretching and yoga class.  To my surprise,  the pain subsided and eventually released completely.

Pain is a gift that tells us what needs attention and where possible danger lies if we are aware of it.  

Nearly seventeen years ago I went to India to volunteer with Mother Theresa's Sisters of Charity.  I had the opportunity to volunteer at the village for lepers.  It was there I learned an insightful lesson about pain.  Leprosy is debilitating because it causes nerve damage and eventual loss of sensation. Oddly, painlessness is the cause of amputations in most lepers due to repeated injuries caused by lack of sensation.  They have no feeling where the leprosy resides therefore they have no warning system.  

The same is true of emotional pain or anything in life that feels like suffering.  The tendency is to shrink away, ignore or numb ourselves from emotions that we label as negative like depression, rage, anxiety.  

There is a way for pain to become a gift.

1. Awareness.  Sometimes the pain is so "in our face" that ignorance isn't possible.  I experienced this after we adopted.  I couldn't ignore my mood swings, exhaustion and fear.  It was a big wake up call to awareness of my true emotional state.  When we are aware, we can consciously choose how to proceed.  Checking in with yourself daily is a good first step towards awareness.

I learned the art of checking in with myself daily through  the body of work by Martha Beck.  Click here for her website where you can learn more about her philosophy.  A great place to start is her book "The Joy Diet."  

A few questions for consideration.

What am I feeling physically, emotionally and spiritually?    In this moment what would I like to taste, hear, see, feel, experience?  

Begin paying attention to your breath.  A shallow indicates anxiety, worry and lack of connection to the truth?  When we connect to our breath we are connecting to our spirits and therein lies our truth.  

Awareness begins one step at a time. 

2. Acceptance.  I don't believe "ignorance is bliss."  In countless situations, "you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free" has delivered real freedom in my own life.   Our lives cannot support lies or anything else that does not resonate truthfully with our design.  Ignorance breeds illness, unhappiness and fatigue.  Accept the truth of whatever you discover.  Do not allow fear of the truth to hinder forward movement.  Acceptance is also one tiny step at a time.  If the truth brings fear, what is one thing you can do to honor your truth each day.  It may be as simple as acknowledgement of what's going on inside your spirit...this is acceptance.  Taking a step toward your truth each day, alleviates pain.  

3. Attention.  Acceptance is not enough.  We must be willing to dedicate our energy  and resources to our personal healing. Attention towards recovery, rehabilitation and restoration is needed to transform pain into a gift.  It doesn't happen miraculously.   It's like exercising, doing yoga or starting a  diet.  A concentrated effort, regardless of how minimal on our part is required.   

4. Adaptation.  In yoga pain indicates when we're at the edge.  The edge is the limit of where to take a pose.  For me, I meet my edge by feeling the pain that's tolerable but not indicative of injury.  The key is to make adaptions to support taking ourselves to the edge.    It's imperative to support ourselves with props when we're at the edge.  Props make life situations sustainable and attainable.  Props come in all different sizes and shapes.  Purposeful breath practice is one of my sustaining props.  If what we were doing previously produced the pain,  we must make adaptions to our lifestyle in order to heal the pain. 

5. Assistance.  A "sister" to props is asking for help.   We're not meant to do life alone.  We need other people to support us when we're in pain.  This is true in our personal and professional lives.  Doing life together is far more fun than doing life alone.  Your greatest area of pain is where you most need to find assistance outside yourself.  

So I was thinking that our emotional, mental and spiritual condition is like the lepers' physical condition.  Until lepers are aware of their diminished nerve sensations, they run a high risk of self injury leading to amputation.  

Similarly, when we are unaware of our own truth and pain, we risk the slow death of our soul.  

How has awareness, acceptance, attention, adaptation and assistance helped you to understand your pain?   

I would love to hear your story.  

 

Comments

[Koren Motekaitis]

Wow Dana. This piece spoke so much to me. As I ponder feeling my own pain and what to do about it. I am still in my own journey. This year has been about feeling the pain and being with it. Realizing that when I actually feel it, it does not destroy me. And I actually am able to let it go once I feel it.

[danafrost@mac.com]

Thanks for sharing, Koren. Feeling our pain is a powerful step to take..to be ok with it, to realize our feelings do not define us rather simply provide information. The statement, "when I feel it, it does not destroy me" is potent. You are standing on solid ground, Koren.