One Sentence that Changes Relationships.

 

“What I focus on expands.”  

 

I noted this in my journal a year ago at the Women on Fire conference in Chicago.  

 

This nugget of truth applies across the scope of our lives but let’s simply address relationships.  

 

Relationships impact us for better or worse.  

 

We need them.  

 

We cast them aside.

 

We cannot live with them and we cannot live without them.

 

They drive us crazy.

 

They can make us delirious, euphoric, depressed and divided.  

 

They expose our vulnerabilities.  

 

Simply stated.

 

Relationships matter. 

 

Pick one.  

Just one relationship you are struggling with right now.  

 

You name the person.

 

A friend.  A spouse.  A child.  A parent.  A boss.  A teacher.  A colleague.  

 

Jot down the point of suffering in your relationship?

 

Question to self:  Where’s my focus in this relationship? 

 

I bet there’s tremendous focus on the negative aspect of the relationship or the person’s less than charming character.  

 

 And you return to the same point of suffering, repeatedly.  

 

It zaps your energy.

 

You talk about it, you talk about it and you talk about it a little bit more.  

 

You stew over it.

 

The suffering expands and festers into deeper levels of your being.

 

It grips you

 

Until

 

You shift your focus away from the suffering and onto the light.  

 

The light that can be found in every situation.  

 

Turning to the light is turning towards freedom.

 

It is in the light that we are seen and we see.  

 

Consider the definition of focus:

 

The center of interest or activity.

 

Place your interest and activity on what you want to expand.  

 

In place of the suffering, what do I want to grow?

 

First, there’s one stop to make.  

 

The necessary landmark called forgiveness.  

 

Without forgiveness in relationships, the thorn of bitterness takes root.  

 

Forgiveness releases the grip of suffering and propels us towards freedom.

 

Forgiveness provides closure in order for us to move forward without baggage.  

 

Because, it’s impossible to focus on what we really want if we carry the past with us.  

 

So, what do you really want instead?  

 

Write it down.

 

Shout it out.

 

Go for it as if your life depended upon it.  

 

And watch it branch out like a youtube video gone viral!   

 

 

How has “what you focus on expands” played out in the relationships of your life?  

 

P.S.  This concept applies to all arenas of life.  Notice your experience in any situation.  If it’s not what you want, turn away and shift your focus to what you want by aligning your actions and attention to match what you really want to grow and expand.   One action at a time you are creating the life you really want.  

 

 

Comments

[indrani]

brilliantly written. I will print and keep as a reminder,,,thanks dana

[dana@danafrost.com]

Thank you, Indrani, for taking the time to let me know the post resonated. Blessings to you.